Conversation Modeling
Conversation modeling (sometimes called conversation mapping or dialog planning) is a helpful activity for navigating potentially challenging discussions, particularly around sensitive topics like performance, promotions, or organizational changes.
What It Is:
- A structured approach to mapping out how a conversation might unfold
- A question-and-answer tree that starts with an opening question and branches based on anticipated responses
- A tool for preparing thoughtful, empathetic responses to different scenarios
- A method for staying focused when emotions run high
Key Benefits:
- Reduces anxiety by helping you prepare for multiple scenarios
- Ensures you talking points ready for different conversation paths
- Helps maintain calm during difficult discussions
- Allows you to anticipate potential pitfalls or triggers before they arise
- Creates space for empathy by forcing you to deeply consider the other person's perspective
How to Create a Conversation Model:
- Start with your opening question or statement
- Map out 2-3 likely responses from the other person
- For each response, prepare:
- Your follow-up question or statement
- Supporting information you might need
- Potential emotional reactions to address
- Continue branching until you reach logical conclusions, including your desired conclusion
Best Practices:
- Use different colors for your questions versus anticipated responses
- Include "pivot points" where you might need to redirect the conversation
- Note specific examples or data you'll need for each path
- Include reminders about emotional regulation (e.g., "pause here if needed")
- Remember it's a guide, not a script
- Practice with a trusted colleague
Tools:
- Physical: Sticky notes on a wall (two colors)
- Digital: FigJam, Miro, or similar collaborative tools
This technique is helpful for any conversation, but it is particularly valuable for:
- Performance feedback
- Conflict resolution
- Salary negotiations
- Promotion discussions