Conversation Modeling
Conversation modeling (sometimes called conversation mapping or dialog planning) is a helpful activity for navigating potentially challenging discussions, particularly around sensitive topics like performance, promotions, or organizational changes.
What It Is: - A structured approach to mapping out how a conversation might unfold - A question-and-answer tree that starts with an opening question and branches based on anticipated responses - A tool for preparing thoughtful, empathetic responses to different scenarios - A method for staying focused when emotions run high
Key Benefits: 1. Reduces anxiety by helping you prepare for multiple scenarios 2. Ensures you talking points ready for different conversation paths 3. Helps maintain calm during difficult discussions 4. Allows you to anticipate potential pitfalls or triggers before they arise 5. Creates space for empathy by forcing you to deeply consider the other person's perspective
How to Create a Conversation Model: 1. Start with your opening question or statement 2. Map out 2-3 likely responses from the other person 3. For each response, prepare: - Your follow-up question or statement - Supporting information you might need - Potential emotional reactions to address 4. Continue branching until you reach logical conclusions, including your desired conclusion
Best Practices: - Use different colors for your questions versus anticipated responses - Include "pivot points" where you might need to redirect the conversation - Note specific examples or data you'll need for each path - Include reminders about emotional regulation (e.g., "pause here if needed") - Remember it's a guide, not a script - Practice with a trusted colleague
Tools: - Physical: Sticky notes on a wall (two colors) - Digital: FigJam, Miro, or similar collaborative tools
This technique is helpful for any conversation, but it is particularly valuable for: - Performance feedback - Conflict resolution - Salary negotiations - Promotion discussions